A Bittersweet Visit

I had a dream,

I was going away, wearing the same clothes i had wore when i flew here
I was with my youngest sister and my mom at some green-walled department store,
they were both shopping for clothes
I told them "hurry up, we're going to be late".

I looked to my right
I was back to that familiar street, to the place where i grew up
I saw some childhood friends, they were riding a motorcycle. they stopped when they saw me
The girl, Jean was happy to see me, she hugged me and said "welcome back"
and my thoughts were just, "I'm going away"

I let her go, stepped back and turned my head to my left
and it was then when i saw her, the person who mattered, the person who devoted her life to me,
She treated me as her own, took care of me, even if it wasn't her responsibility.

I saw my mum.
She was there, wearing the same blue shirt she would always wear.
She smiled at me, her face even more beautiful than before.
She said nothing, did nothing but smile at me.
She was happy.

I wanted to hug her, be with her, say something, anything.
But nothing came out. I just froze.
For I knew this wasn't real, this couldn't be real.
My mom just left me,  I was with her when she fell asleep.

-..♥..-
One of my greatest fears is to loose the people i love
I had dreamed of losing some of them, making me wake up crying..
i got terrified of sleeping, knowing this would happen.

the pain of being left behind or of losing someone is real even in dreams

-..♥..-

-..♥..-

I miss my mum
But i know wherever she is, she's happy
I love you ma

-..♥..-

-..♥..-

My mum, the one who took care of me died on September 29, 2014 12:20 AM.
I was still able to tell her i love her September 28, 2014  8 PM.
We buried her on October 4, 2014, Interment was at 1 PM.
I dreamed of her today, December 4, 2014 8 PM.
Coincidence?

-..♥..-

- The Ring -

June 8, 2014 5PM
I played basketball, i placed the ring on top of my cellphone

June 8, 2014 8PM
I noticed the ring missing, i frantically searched around the house looking for it - in the room, kitchen, etc.. Even my mom helped look for it

June 8, 2014 11PM
Looked outside the house, it was raining slightly but still, i need to find the ring

June 9, 2014 1AM
Still coudn't find the ring..

June 9, 2014 6AM
Continued searching for it

June 9, 2014 8AM
Mom and Dad cleaned the house and garden, every corner, every place, even the trash, they searched for it

June 9, 2014 4PM
confessed to my other half about the ring, he wasn't angry at me, even yet - he told me the ring will be found

June 9, 2014 8PM
Continued to look for it

June 10, 2014
Still no sign of the ring..

June 11, 2014
Losing Hope, I hope my ring would come back.

yeah i know, pretty much an overeaction for a ring. But it wasn't just any ordinary ring.

That ring was given to me by someone special. I've had it for almost two years, taking great care of it. I placed it on top of my cellphone so I wouldn't forget it. I'd wear it after playing basketball.

The ring had great sentimental value to me. Losing it was like losing a part of me. I hope it would come back on that special day..

June 12, 2014 6AM

Heared excited noises outside my room, followed by mom waking me up from disturbing slumber. She was excited and so was dad. There smiles on their faces tell me something was up.

And Mom gave me the RING. The ring that i had lost, the ring that was dear to me.

Dad found it in a place where i didn't go when i lost, the place where i searched countless times hoping it would be there.

Finally, this day, the ring was here. It has returned to me.

A ring that was precious once, become even more precious than before. It is now not just a ring given to me by someone special. It was a ring which showed my family's love and support for me.

It showed me God's great love despite my imperfections, despite the problems.

And my special someone? His happiness is infectious when he found the ring back on my finger again =)

-..♥..-

"When your problems are as big as the sea,
 Never forget that your blessings are as wide as the ocean"

-..♥..-