if heaven had a phone line..

if heaven had a phone line,
i would certainly use it everyday
i would start my mornings by saying
"hi, what's for breakfast?"
as i start preparing the plates

but knowing the sleepyhead that i am
you'd probably end up calling me
and waking me up instead

if heaven had a phone line
i'd call you every now and then
just like the way we used to text way back when
it's just a random check on both of us
it's kinda like our thing, a bonding moment,
a happy fuss

if heaven had a phone line
i'd never miss the days when you're not here
in our current situation,
just talking to you, hearing your voice would be more than enough
cause i know you're there.

if heaven had a phone line
i'd tell you i love you and thank you everyday
you made sure i was raised right
you gave me a family
you did everything with all your might.

even to your last breath,
you thought of me,
making sure i can handle it,
making sure i'll be alright.

if heaven had a phone line
then i could ask you if you're proud of me
of where i am now,
of what i've become,
the fruits of your labor,
and as your living legacy.

if heaven had a phone line..
..i'll make your proud of me.
more than that,
how i wish you're still here with me.

-..♥..-

MOTHER [noun]

..someone who will love you unconditionally,
til her last breath..

-..♥..-

Loss not Found

i thought today will just be an ordinary day
wake up, get up, dress up
daily routine, tasks
just the usual

until i saw you, walking right across me
i did a double take, my heart skipped a beat
is it you? is it really you?
why are you here? what are you doing here?

Hope flooded my heart
All logical reasoning escaping my sanity
fear of disapppointment flooding my soul
but still, maybe you are here
benefit of the doubt
i gave it my all

i did a double take to see things clearly
my heart sank as i was taken back to reality
it wasn't you - it just looked like you
i stood there frozen, emptiness, pain, hurt washed over me
i was just overwhelmed, dazed, i don't know what to do

In this lifetime,
You're never coming back to me
No matter what i do.
It just sucks cause i can't kill this hope.
Hope of me, being with you.

-..♥..-

... Maybe not in this lifetime, but in the next
we'll see each other again
and I can be with you.
Just like you promised ...

-..♥..-

letter to my mom: one sweet day

hi ma!

how are you?

hope you are doing good.
everything's good here.

i got fat - i gained a lot of weight.
i also learned how to cook rice
at long last, i can feed myself haha

anyways, i was listening to this song
it made me think of you
this song will always remind me of you
it never made any sense to me, until now.

i wonder what you are doing right now
you're probably in your garden
transferring your pots like you always do
or probably watching your favorite tv shows
so engrossed in it, a little disturbance will
make you fire up.

whatever it is you're doing right now,
wherever you are, i just hope your happy
you deserve to be

i miss you ma
i love you so much and always will.

-..♥..-

... and i know you're shining down on me from heaven
like so many friends we've lost along the way
and i know eventually we'll be together
one sweet day...

- mariah carey and boyz ii men -

-..♥..-

letter to my mom: incomplete

It has been about seven months since that fateful day
That day when you quietly slipped away
I didn't even notice that you just passed me by
I just thought you were sleeping,
I had no idea that'll be our last goodbye

Everything changed since then
My world crumbled since you were gone
I lost a huge part of me
i had no idea how to move on

You were my everything - my strength, my treasure
You had always been there for me,
You always had my back
You always helped me up,
Keep me back on track

You never doubted me - not even once
You were my number one fan
You had always protected me
You gave me everything
You gave me more than enough

But now you're gone
I've been trying to cope up
But it's hard. Life is so hard to live without you

I had no idea how to start, where to start
I feel so lost without you

Please come back for me
Help me.
Please help me get through this
Because life is really hard without you.

I love you ma, I miss you.

letter to my mom: passing by :)

ma,

if you're reading this, thank you for molding me to be the person who i am today. For preparing me for life. You loved me as your own and you've always thought of me first, even until your last.

don't worry about me,
i am okay, i am loved - the people that i have around me are really taking good care of me - especially those unexpected ones. Lol

you're legacy will live in me ma.
i just wish i could've spent more time with you,
but i know you're happier somewhere

wherever you are,
i hope you can see me
i hope i am making you proud,
especially of where i am now and of what i've achieved..

i miss you ma.
i hope i can see you again.
i love you so much ma!