- unattended candle -

it was dark, only candles were glowing
the surroundings was silent, only the wind was howling..

then suddenly, our tenant came rushing in..
"Te, te" she screamed, a frantic call for my mother
my mother at first walked then ran,
as soon as she saw the number of peoply hurrying.

"fire.! fire.!" our tenant said
my mother turned to me,
"call the fire department! go ahead!"

(i was following my mom the entire time, the fire was within the area but a little farther from our house, maybe two houses away)

and then i saw it, right in front of my eyes
black smoke, red flames shot out of the sky
for a moment i stood frozen
my heart stopped, my mind - shutting off everything

it took me a moment to recover
from a moment that would seem like forever
when i looked around all i can see,
people were rushing, children crying

the looks on their faces, the looks of despair
panic, anger, getting confused - all in one -
everything, everyone was in chaos

i snapped back to reality
called for help - my friends, relatives, bf -
and a few minutes later
helped arrived.

-..♥..-

the fire started due to unattended candles
and i'm just thankful to God for keeping us safe

in that moment, in that instant,
everything you have may be taken away from your eyes
so cherish what you have.
TAKE CARE OF IT
-..♥..-

- not good enough but.. -

i may not be smart enough,
good enough,
sensible enough,
but i do know
that i have my worth
and i also know
that you're not worth every single millesecond of my time

i just want to take time, shout out and say
that eventhough i may not be smart
good, sensible and "whatever"enough
for you

it does not give you the right to make fun of me
or degrade me.

as well as i dont' have to reach for your standards
to know and prove my worth

and oh by the way,
no matter what credentials you have,
what you just did,

it made you lower than me
which technically makes me better than you

so take that.

- what ifs.. begone..! -

my life was once in order
everything was planned out
suddenly you came along
suddenly, i had doubts

what if you were mine?
what if you were not?
what if i never took the chance?
would have i regret it a lot?

then i knew if i'd let you pass by
i wouldn't learn to go for my dreams and fly
coz i know i have no regrets
i am happy, contented though you tease me to be your pet

so now no more what ifs
and no more could be's
i just need to have faith
and trust your love in me ^^v

-..♥..-

even though the future's blurry
i know everything's gonna be okay
coz i have you with me ^^
-..♥..-

- unstable -

at one point in my life,

it was all i've wanted the most

and now that i have you with me

i thought i'd feel secure, contented, happy.

and i am happy, well sort of.. 

i guess fear has gotten the best of me

i've started to become greedy

for when you're away, i feel empty

i need a distraction, maybe a cure

i need to have faith in you a little more

i am self-destructing, killing everything

someone save me, give me peace once more

-..♥..-

may be at one point, this fairy tale will end..
i just hope it ends up with you being mine,
'coz i really really really like you.
and i hope you feel the same way too ='c
-..♥..-

someone - the reason for my sadness

- lately, colleagues have been telling me i gained weight. i got fat. plus dry skin, looking tired and badly damage. the description matched like those of rotten tomatoes. infact, at that time, i really really felt like a rotten tomato.


why? because i've always carried myself with pride. i dont think i'm perfect because clearly i'm not. but i've always looked at myself of which someone that has value. not perfect, often times wrong, but still worth it of actions, reasonable, respected.


however, hearing those things, it lead to my depression of course. to seek comfort from the ones i truly care about. but then no matter what the say, i knew in my head that i am a rotten tomato =c


for somewhere along the way, i lost myself. i lost my value and self-respect. my head's empty, feeling like a fool, blah blah you know the rest..probably that's the reason why i don't want to be with people. i feel small when i'm with them, falling like a wallflower at an event.


and i dont want to be that person anymore. i want to grow. i want to be someone who's beautiful, sexy, independent, respected, smart, lovable, worthy and worth it..


someone who my family and friends can be proud of. someone who they'll say as "we did not go wrong in raising her" or "i'm proud to be her friend"


and finally, i want to be the right person for the person i truly treasure the most. he means so much to me and as much as i can, i want to make him happy without being too overly attached. O.o


i want to be someone who he can be proud of. .someone to be his friend, his partner, i want him to be mine, to never leave me, to be the one for him and that someday, he won't be embarrassed by me..he can show me off to his friends and say "hey, that's my girl <3".


i want to be that someone. someone who lives her life to the fullest and with meaning.

that someone who i always dreamed to be, but i'm afraid, i'll never be..

-..♥..-

sorry for the long post.
but i've just got to let it all out ^^
-..♥..-

- farewell -

you are the perfect guy
respected, good kind
sweet, charming, loyal
a perfect husband material
and most of all, you loved me.

and i did love you
i loved you too
but i guess it wasn't enough
for here we are
strangers, heart's so far.

hey, i want you to know
i'm sorry i had to let go
sorry for all the hurts and troubles i've caused
sorry for not loving you so..

and i also wanna say thank you
for being with me through all those years
you've really proven you're worth,
given me more than enough
no words can ever describe
the things you did for me,
a thousand words aren't even enough.

but now it's time for you to move on and be happy
fly, go find your destiny
thank you for the time you spent with me
but now, i have to say goodbye
and i hope you can find the one
who will love you truly

-..♥..-

thank you for being my twin, my other half..
this would be the last time i'll speak about you.
it's time for us to move on and let go
i'll be happy for you ^^
-..♥..-

- perfection does not always mean happiness -

i was your princess,
you were my prince
everything was perfect,
a love story in a fairy tale

but something happened
troubles crossed our way
our love got lost
my love went astray

i left you for reasons
even i couldn't believe
i just had to get away
take a break and breath.

-..♥..-

sometimes, leaving is the best option for personal growth..
i'm sorry i had to leave,
but i know, if i'd stay, we'll just end up hating each other
-..♥..-