- outcast on christmas -

i watch her,
scramble to her feet as she hurries to get the presents
she bustles around the room as she assists her mother
calling out numbers, marking them on the presents,
to prepare it for the much awaited exchange gift

when all is done, she smiles and feels relief,
"everything is well, it will go well", she says to herself
"let's start", her mother says,
"Number One", the girl calls on a loud clear voice,
despite the cough she's having..

"everything is well, it will go well", she says to herself
looking around for happy faces, the essence of a fun party
but in one moment, she got scolded, reprimanded.
"Your voice is too loud, it's so noisy" - her mother, her REAL mother said

So with trembling voice she called again "Number two",
"that's better" - said her REAL mother
but then the crowd complained "Your voice is too low, we couldn't hear you"
and the girl just stood there, confused on what to do.
that's just the start - a roller coaster ride gone wrong

she tries so hard to please the people around her,
just to make her mother (not her real mother but still a her mother nonetheless) happy
she gave it her best, showed the rest of the family what a fine woman she has become
but in the end, its still the same

she will always be that child to them (the rest of the family) - a blacksheep, an outcast of the family.
and that girl is me.