A Bittersweet Visit

I had a dream,

I was going away, wearing the same clothes i had wore when i flew here
I was with my youngest sister and my mom at some green-walled department store,
they were both shopping for clothes
I told them "hurry up, we're going to be late".

I looked to my right
I was back to that familiar street, to the place where i grew up
I saw some childhood friends, they were riding a motorcycle. they stopped when they saw me
The girl, Jean was happy to see me, she hugged me and said "welcome back"
and my thoughts were just, "I'm going away"

I let her go, stepped back and turned my head to my left
and it was then when i saw her, the person who mattered, the person who devoted her life to me,
She treated me as her own, took care of me, even if it wasn't her responsibility.

I saw my mum.
She was there, wearing the same blue shirt she would always wear.
She smiled at me, her face even more beautiful than before.
She said nothing, did nothing but smile at me.
She was happy.

I wanted to hug her, be with her, say something, anything.
But nothing came out. I just froze.
For I knew this wasn't real, this couldn't be real.
My mom just left me,  I was with her when she fell asleep.

-..♥..-
One of my greatest fears is to loose the people i love
I had dreamed of losing some of them, making me wake up crying..
i got terrified of sleeping, knowing this would happen.

the pain of being left behind or of losing someone is real even in dreams

-..♥..-

-..♥..-

I miss my mum
But i know wherever she is, she's happy
I love you ma

-..♥..-

-..♥..-

My mum, the one who took care of me died on September 29, 2014 12:20 AM.
I was still able to tell her i love her September 28, 2014  8 PM.
We buried her on October 4, 2014, Interment was at 1 PM.
I dreamed of her today, December 4, 2014 8 PM.
Coincidence?

-..♥..-