PRESENCE ♥

heeeeeeey..

just passing by, quick question: aren't you tired?
you've been running in my head all day! lol. (#boom #whogoat #corny)

really, i heard this song and thought of you.
i was supposed to write a blog but then my thoughts got jumbled up
so i decided to message you instead:

i guess it wouldn't and couldn't be helped
my past would always come back to haunt me,
no matter how hard i try to run away from it.

yup, as much as possible, i just want to forget about it.
the pain, the reality that at that time, i was alone.
i had no choice. I have to stand up for myself.

i also hated the future.
Every waking day, i thought i had no more reason to live.
(kinda harsh, but you do know that at that time, i lost everything. - well at least i thought i had)

I wasn't looking forward to tomorrow but then again i just wanna forget my past. Pretty complex right?

However the world doesn't stop turning. it continues to live
It seems as if nothing has changed, but you look back and realize, nothing's the same.
Except for some little bits of reality, especially about you.

you became my friend.
you were there when i was with him
you were there when my mom moved on
you were there when he left me
you were there when i ran after him
and in my crazy moments,
those nights when i'd call you in the middle of the night to cry,
and probably more nights to come, you are always there for me
always listening to the same problems.
and still, even in now, you are here with me

"don't say you have time. if you give someone your effort, you're giving them your time"
- i learned that from you
you'd call me in the middle of the night.
you'd spend your time talking to me instead of playing your favorite game
you'd email me if something happens.
by far, you had never left me hanging.
through all your actions, i can clearly see you're giving me your TIME and EFFORT

now thinking about it, i don't feel so lonely anymore,
nor i have fear of facing what's to come.

you're there.
i have someone.
your determination, perseverance and hard-hardheadedness (lol) must've rubbed off on me
you taught me not to give up
you taught me to fight.
and the funniest thing was,
you LOVED me, even when i couldn't even love myself.

so thank you. i owe a lot of my recovery from you.
you had me at my worst, i am sure to give you my best
and i'm better now. i'm not the weak person i once was.
thank you for making me whole gain.
for putting back all the pieces :)

and likewise, i promise to be there for you
like what you did for me.
iLy ♥

-..♥..-

... sorry for the long post,
im just happy, and i wanna keep this feeling
this feeling that i thought i'd never feel again ...

...♥ will you follow through if i fall for you? ♥ ...
- martin garrix feat. usher - don't look down - 

-..♥..-